Being single and living a player life style in DC is like being in prison. Ask anyone who’s ever done time, done a real long stretch. The best way to cope with it is to never think about it ending. You just accept you’re in there and you’re not getting out anytime soon. Being single becomes a simple way of living. You develop the tools necessary to help you survive. That means developing the skills needed to pick up girls, go on dates and get laid. That was my life for the longest time and I accepted it. Then close to two and a half years ago I met a girl.
It was like waking up from sleep walking and realizing I was naked in front of the world. I remember I met her by chance on the rooftop of Lost Society on a Thursday night after seeing a Gaslight Anthem show at the 9:30 club. There was an aura about her. Dreadlocks, white mixed with Native American, wearing chunky African jewelry, statement pieces. A few days later we went on one of the best dates of my life that ended with me spending the weekend in her bedroom. I’m man enough to admit that I fell fucking hard. The next few months we had a world wind romance and got to know each other. She was kind and gave her time and energy to causes. She was smart and worked as a lawyer, she was beautiful and cultured. She bought tickets opening night and took me to my first ballet. She loved her family and talked to her sister and mother daily. I’ve written about her before on this blog back when I thought I had an exit strategy.
For the first time I could remember I was completely satisfied. The type of satisfaction the woman you’ve been looking for your whole life can give you. I couldn’t even think about another girl I was so happy. But as these things often go it didn’t last. I’d wake up in the middle of the night and find her texting people and she’d quickly shut off her phone and pretend to be sleeping. She often went to Vegas for weddings and girl’s weekends and would act different when she returned. As much as I was into her I was also hip to the game. I was pissed and ended it over text by calling her out on all the shady shit she’d been doing since we got together. I was more pissed that I found someone that made me feel this way but of course wasn’t good girlfriend material. I was pissed at her for her showing me a glimpse of what life could be like with one woman that you really care about. I don’t burn bridges, I blow them up.
Like most girls her age she had an Instagram account. After the breakup she made it private for a few months. When she came back it was obvious she was dating a new guy. Some goofy looking motherfucker. Soon she announced she was moving to Vegas with him. Turns out he was one of those club promoting douche bags that come a dime a dozen around there. It all made sense, this was the guy she moved on to after me, she acted weird after her last trip there while we were dating. She was about that life, the hottest clubs and not having to wait in line, DJ’s and pool parties, fancy restaurants and excess.
The guy in my opinion was a joke but I moved on. I found another girl and ended up being happy with he for about a year until that ran it’s course. I’d check into her Instagram and see pictures of her traveling the world, posing with drugged up Tigers in Asia somewhere, hiking with promoter douche in Nevada, eating at the newest most exclusive spots in Vegas. I wondered if she was happy if she remembered me if it was worth it.
Checking her Instagram page often became a ritual if I was being honest, her life seemed pretty cool on paper and I’m a creature of routine. One Sunday she posted a picture of her at a pool party with some Swedish DJ or whatever. Then a week went by without any updated pictures. That’s how it was when her and I broke up. I knew there was trouble in paradise and felt smug about it. On his Instagram he was always surrounded with women, bottles and models. I guess she figured out she got with a player. Then a week later her Instagram was set to private. Following the exact same pattern that happened after our breakup. Finally, a few days later I noticed she had put up a gofundme page at the end of her Instagram bio. I knew she made enough money to travel along with enough vacation days saved up. I figured it was for people to contribute money to one of her many causes she had going on. I clicked on the page and it brought me to this.