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PUA Theory Vs Reality: Marrying a career girl

 

The PUA theory goes that you’re supposed to marry a woman who doesn’t work at all. Instead stays at home and spends all of her time raising your children and being a stay at home mother who cooks cleans and takes care of the house while you’re you spend your time at the office making money to support the whole family. This is the most traditional gender role that worked for our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. These are the roles that will lead to the most happiness among couples and most stable family/ home environment for the kids.

As before let’s make some logical assumption. You live in a medium to big city in the United States (you don’t live in a small town where cost of living is extremely low). You are not wealthy or rich. You’re college educated. The girl you decide to marry is college educated.

Now for the most part to me there’s nothing really wrong with this theory. The only thing is it’s from an era of American history that’s dying or already dead. That Leave it To Beaver shit that made sense back in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s even. Where every company gave you a pension and career loyalty to one company was expected and a company’s loyalty to you was returned.

The reality of the situation is that in today’s economic climate the era of a family thriving on one income is a luxury reserved for the very wealthy or financially well off individual man. You work in Finance, you’re a doctor or a lawyer and that’s about it. Basically you’re not middle class to start off with. If you’re not in one of those potential lucrative fields and you go into marriage expecting to be the sole bread winner then you’re putting all your eggs into one basket and painting yourself into a financial corner. That is why I’m saying that you want whomever you marry to have job and keep working and advancing in her career because it’s common sense.

A wise man once told me you want your wife to have skin in the game, you want her to be on tract and bring as much financially to the table as you do or close to it. Of course you’ll probably be making more money especially if you’re older than her that’s a given. But let’s just keep it real, starting a family, buying a home, paying for braces, saving for kids college fund and both of you retiring as a couple takes money. For you to make that kind of money to cover all that, expect to always be at work and never see your family…. Ever. What’s the point of being married and having a family if you never see them? Add to that what would happen if you lose your job for any reason. Without a second income there ready to take over should something go bad you’re leaving your flank open. In today’s climate do you think your employment is guaranteed?

Next up is leaving money on the table and quality of life. If you married a college educated girl capable of bringing in additional income and for some reason she doesn’t solely based on the fact that you want her to focus all her time on child rearing then you’ve basically wasted her education and you’re decreasing the quality of life you could have. Family vacations and trips, nights out together, saving for an earlier retirement and investing. When you think about it you’re throwing money out the window. On top of this if your wife is capable of going out and having a career and because of starting a family leaves that filed and doesn’t return the chances of her resenting you for that are very high. This leads to the obvious reason why you want your wife to have a stable advancing career before you get married.

God forbid you two should get a divorce. Remember that resentment I mentioned? Here it comes. Now I don’t care if her whole life ambition was to get married stay at home and raise 15 babies for the rest of her life. For ANY reason at all if you two get divorced. All of a sudden you will be the one accused of “forcing” her to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen chained to stove. She had dreams and could have been a rocket scientist with her two year associates degree from community college but you and patriarchy made her slave. So she will be getting alimony for the rest of her life. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Sure you’re ready for child support those are your kids. But because you didn’t have the foresight to see what could happen should your divorce now you you’ll be taking care of her forever. Yeah good luck with a prenup.

With that said I know for sure there are plenty of women who don’t want to work or have a career and whose life goal is to get married, have kids and be a stay at home mom like their mother’s before them. These girls don’t care much for big life ambition and for them kids and family are it. If that’s what you want go for these types of girls. You won’t really find them in big cities so you’ll have to move. For other guys who do end up marrying a woman with a career and no intentions of leaving it after having kids I’d like to point out that a family that has both parents working IS NOT THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO A CHILD! Please believe me when I say that. Somehow his PUA theory would have you believe your kids will grow up to be social retards or maladjusted because the mother had a career is extremely laughable. As long as you love your kids and show them everything you both do are for their best interests then your kids will grow up to be fine I promise you.

Lastly I get the impression that a lot of young guys out there are under the impression that being that working and being the sole breadwinner in a marriage will give them some sort of power where they get to make the financial and all ultimate relationship decisions. Do not be so naïve. In the long run you working when she isn’t will not increase any so called power. Remember that resentment I mentioned?

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About The Author

Been in the game since 2005 and still learning everyday. But now I feel comfortable giving back and sharing wisdom with guys looking to improve one or two things in their lives that could increase their self confidence and the chance of having a favorable outcome in any romantic interaction with women. When you step to her you know you've already put in that work on your end. Nothing is left to chance.

16 Comments

  1. ASF November 20, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    Real talk bro. A lot PUA theory is by guys who don’t really get laid as much as they claim, do not or cannot form even short term relationships with women, or are just social retards. Maybe a combination.

  2. Virgle Kent November 20, 2014 at 3:32 pm

    ASF,

    Yeah man, I often wonder that. These guys writing about marriage and real shit if they’ve been there or even close to there themselves. Some men live PUA theory so hard they make it sound like they’ve experienced it themselves.

  3. Ras al Ghul November 20, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    “With that said I know for sure there are plenty of women who don’t want to work or have a career and whose life goal is to get married, have kids and be a stay at home mom like their mother’s before them. These girls don’t care much for big life ambition and for them kids and family are it. If that’s what you want go for these types of girls.”

    You have to ask yourself in this day and age why the women want to stay home. If she wants a big family and home schooling the kids, it makes sense. (and that’s what you want)

    But a lot of women that are stay at home, also get someone to clean the house, their kids go to school and they don’t do spit (other than cheat on their husbands).

    What they’re really looking for is a sucker that will take care of them and that they can treat like garbage.

    And the men in those situations are stuck with the way the courts are.

  4. Virgle Kent November 20, 2014 at 4:19 pm

    Amen, Once the kids start going back to school what’s the stay at home mom doing? Good question.

  5. zodak November 20, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    marry a career-girl? even a career girl will rob you in a divorce. christ i feel like i’m reading the good mangina project. why do you even link to pua/red pill sites if you are going to keep writing puahate posts?

    • Nate November 21, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      This is the exact mindset VK is challenging, the mindset we coined the term “manospambot” for. People who reject everything that doesn’t toe the “red pill” party line, menstruating all over posts that dare to contain ideas that are different. No worse than feminists.

      Moving forward in life requires experience, experience which will show you things exist on a spectrum rather than being black and white.

      • splooge November 23, 2014 at 8:11 pm

        if you want to spread this type of message, might consider writing for rok to get the word out

  6. Virgle Kent November 20, 2014 at 6:58 pm

    Zodak,

    Did you read the parts where I said if you find a girl willing to not work or if you have enough money to comfortably provide for a family with one income then go for it. I was trying to present a balance nuanced picture to both sides. You’re obvious here just to troll or hate. That’s fine but that’s strike two.

  7. ted November 21, 2014 at 5:36 am

    The point is that the sphere/PUAs talk in generalities and that things are not always 100% black and white.

    My boy married young, both come from religious families, both are virgins, and both are tens in terms of looks/status/etc. She is fucking amazing, we all love the shit out of her. She’s sweet, fun, hospitable, can cook, outgoing, loyal, faithful, sincere about her faith. She’s what every man dreams of, a fucking unicorn.

    They both work, she’s making more money than him while he is in residency. Afterward his income will dwarf hers, and they’ll probably have kids.

  8. ted November 21, 2014 at 5:36 am

    I.E. there are exceptions to the rule, even though they are rare.

  9. Virgle Kent November 21, 2014 at 8:23 am

    Ted,

    I do agree there are exceptions to the rule but the exception you just mentioned I’ve covered already. In fact I don’t think these are exceptions this is what needs to happen for marrying young and stay at home mom to work.

    In my previous pots I mentioned it’s easier to marry a woman in her 20’s if you’re also in your 20’s. In this post I said that if you have a high paying job like Lawyer, doctor or wall street finance then your wife staying at home and raising the kids is easier to accomplish.

    It seems like they have a game plan and growing in the right direction so this makes a lot of sense to me.

  10. James from team rocket November 22, 2014 at 2:55 am

    Maybe I missed it but I’m not really sure what raising kids or being married has to do with PUAs or their theory. Which PUAs are you talking about that hold this opinion?

    That said, I would rather have the kids at home with a decent wife than let the terrible public schools raise them here in America while we struggle to make a dual income home. It would be worth the “lost income” to have them raised at home.

  11. splooge December 2, 2014 at 3:37 am

    heres alil chain mail I got in my inbox and figured that you guys will enjoy it. Feel free to clean it up for the manoshpere

    Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for
    centuries but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation first:

    If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race
    …. you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework …
    you’re a pansy. If you work too hard … there’s never any time for her. If
    you don’t work enough …. you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a
    boring repetitive job with low pay .. this is exploitation. If you have a
    boring repetitive job with low pay … you should get off your lazy behind
    and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her … that is
    favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you .. it’s equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks … it’s sexual harassment. If you keep
    quiet ….. it’s male indifference. If you cry … you’re a wimp. If you
    don’t …. you’re an insensitive bastard. If you make a decision without
    consulting her ….. you’re a chauvinist.

    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman. If
    you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy … that’s domination. If SHE
    asks you … it’s a favour. If you appreciate the female form and frilly
    underwear … you’re a pervert. If you don’t … you’re gay.

    If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape … you’re sexist.
    If you don’t … you’re unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape …
    you’re vain. If you don’t … you’re a slob. If you buy her flowers …
    you’re after something. If you don’t .. you’re not thoughtful. If you’re
    proud of your achievements … you’re full of yourself. If you don’t …
    you’re not ambitious. If she has a headache … she’s tired. If you have a
    headache ….. you don’t love her anymore. If you want it too often …
    you’re oversexed. If you don’t … there must be someone else.

  12. Chad December 2, 2014 at 9:46 am

    Good shit. I love how you always challenge the current ‘PUA’ perspective on things and shine light on sometimes ridiculous ideas from them through logic, reason and reality.

  13. Fabiana February 13, 2016 at 12:30 am

    Ross and Mehow aren’t against each other. It’s just a sttgreay that they utilize for free advertising. Ross uses this all the time. FAKE RIVALRIES ARE THE BEST BUSINESS MODEL IN THE SEDUCTION COMMUNITY!!!

  14. Good Morning SMS In Hindi March 4, 2016 at 8:54 pm

    thanks for sharing nice post

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