One big disservice that Game/Pick Up sites do for men, in spite of usually good advice, is de-emphasize or hand wave the importance of looks for getting chicks. It’s useful for getting newbs into the material, which is good, and also to sell product, which is lame. Regardless, it’s not the best mindset. Thankfully many have turned away from doing this, but it’s still too common.
Looks are a huge part of attraction, so much so that if you wanted to you could base 80% of your game on purely looking awesome. Dress well, have a good haircut, be tan, have muscle, and walk around like you own the place. That other 20% would be knowing how to keep a 6th grade level conversation, having good logistics, and knowing when to seal the deal. Anyone who has seen hotchickswithdouchebags.com knows the score.
I’m not absolutely advocating that kind of approach, but then again I’m not *not* advocating it. I’m more in the “Every Facet” school, where you should look your best, have money, know how to approach and be dominant, but that’s not the focus for today. The point is that kind of approach is very possible, and since it is possible, what does that say about the trope that “looks don’t matter”?
If looks didn’t matter, it wouldn’t have to be repeated over and over again.
A lot of Game advice is about building attraction where none exists in the first place. Forcing a girl to reconsider her initial judgment (or lack thereof) of you. And this is a noble cause, make no mistake. However, focusing a lot of effort on the nuts and bolts of approaching and openers and negs and conversation gambits is a very sub-optimal approach (SPERG ALERT: dominance, mindset, “inner game” and all that is useful for everyone, don’t get it twisted).
Let’s consider this from a different angle-
- The vast majority of dudes are *not* naturally ugly (i.e., they are OK looking, or would be if they lost weight) and even ugliness can be improved upon
- Many good looking dudes would look OK or bland if they had bad hygiene, dressed like shit, were skinny fat/overweight, etc…
- Therefore, the majority of dudes can be good looking dudes if they add lean muscle, style, and swagger
- Good looking dudes don’t have to work very hard at all to get interest from women
- Therefore, many dudes can become good looking dudes who don’t have to work very hard to get chicks
If you want to look like shit, continue to look bland, or purposefully not care what you look like, go ahead and work on your openers and gambits and what not. It works for some, and more power to you. Some guys like to be Game purists, so be it. I think it’s a ton of work, mildly masochistic, and that it’s just not necessary to go too far past the basics if you’re willing to get your looks game on point. I will readily admit that I and dudes like me are not Game gurus because we don’t have to be.
Looking good is an incredible shortcut, and I mean that in all the best ways. So much of the work gets done for you before you open your mouth. You might never have to make a cold approach again as girls are already checking you out. Some will even come up to you. Chicks will text you first and try to set up meet ups or dates. Girls will escalate on you, often grabbing your arms and feeling your abs.
Sometimes you’ll have to put in work, make the approach and all that with the shy or more cautious girls, but many times you don’t have to do much but say hey and not be thirsty. Hell, sometimes it gets to the point where you have to tone it down because it’ll scare the kitty. When you got your style on point, when you got some guns to show off, when you walk around like you own the place, things get *so* much easier. You want to talk inner game? When girls check you out and come up to you, you know you’re the shit.
For newbs, I recommend both going out and hitting on girls and improving your looks. Build that foundation, and then let the muscle/style game take it to the next level. We’ve got a whole library of Muscle and Style posts here if you need a kick start. Think “look like a douchebag”. Douchebag is the most watered down, useless word in the English language, but if you ever get called one you’re on the right track. Douchebag Game is king.
For dudes who’ve been in the game awhile and don’t have their looks maximized, what are you waiting for? It’s never too late to start, and once you do you’ll wonder why you didn’t earlier. Before you know it your “game” is making sure you don’t fuck up.
While I recognize that some dudes are blessed genetically, there is a good chance many of you can even make some improvements.
Everyone could use some optimization.
I recognize that I’m blessed, but even I can always do something extra.
Just within the past year-year and a half, I traded a buzz for a sorta faux-hawk thing. I started wearing tight v-necks and nice jeans and shoes instead of skater shirts and shoes and old looking jeans. I killed off that midsection bulk I got last winter, which, before cutting down, used to be a 15lb beer/pasta gut 2 years ago. I made the gym my passion instead of a hobby. It’s made a huge difference, even though things were “just fine” beforehand.
If I can get a noticeable change in attitudes and responses just from these changes, there’s no reason other dudes can’t. It’s my belief, and I’ve seen it happen, that most dudes can make huge jumps in attractiveness by making some of the big changes and then bring it up even more with some fine tuning. Cutting up, getting jacked, dressing better, and so on.
Not looking your best is short changing yourself. If you have the skills *and* the looks, you become an unstoppable freight train. Take it up a notch and thank yourself later.