“The game doesn’t change the way you sleep or wash your face or chew your food. It changes nothing but your life” Don DeLillo
Imagine if you could play a football game in perfect game conditions, sunny, 65 degrees, in a dome, and natural perfect grass. You were playing at home field in front of all your adoring fans chanting for you and all your starters where healthy. Now try a different scenario. You go out on Friday night; the first spot you go to the ratio is four girls for every one guy. All the girls are 8’s and up. Not only that but you’re obviously the best looking, best dressed and have the best body as well. You and your wingmen outdo every other guy there on appearance alone. All the girls break their necks as you enter. There’s a wide open path to the bar to get drinks. You spin around and open up one girl and she loves you. You get her number. As soon as you go to another part of the bar another girls approaches you, layup. By the end of the night you end up with your pick of women to go home with. Now wake the fuck up, because in both scenarios you’re clearly dreaming. The second one won’t happen unless you’re fucking Brad Pitt, especially in a city like DC.
I have a buddy who likes to get pumped up the whole week about going out and checking out new places. On more than a few occasions if he’s not having a good night pulling girls, he’ll call it an early night and just disappear. I’ll be in conversation with a girl or dancing and turn around and he’s disappeared for the night. When we talk the next day he wasn’t feeling it because of numerous reasons. Everything from getting blown out, too many guys, girls not good looking enough, him not being in the mood, basically chalking up his disappearing act to not having ideal game conditions (IGC)
The thing about this city and anywhere you go out really is that you cannot create or count on IGC to occur and a lot of men do. When IGC does not occur most guys give up, shut down and mentally take themselves out of the game or like my friend call it an early night. You can’t seriously say you practice game and have that type of mentality. That’s fucking laziness. The fact is you need to be fucking hungry, fucking ready to murder it! You need to know that game conditions will not be ideal when you step out your house. You will be going against guys thirstier than you are; you may end up in venues with horrible ratios. They’re all against you. The bartender doesn’t want you to get laid, the bouncer doesn’t want you to get laid, and her friend doesn’t want you to get laid. The whole plant does not want you to get laid. Under IGCs even a blind midget could get laid. If you’re used to gaming when everything goes right under ideal game conditions then you’re just getting lucky, you aint grinding. As a wise man once said,
“Fuck the world don’t ask me for shit, everything you get you have to work hard for it”
You can’t control the outside world but you can control yourself. By Friday night have you put that work into the gym for the week? Are your clothes fresh and fashionable? Did you openly flirt with girls that came across your path during the week? It’s the nights where you don’t have IGC that teach you how mentally tough you are. Some guys mentally break. They do ten approaches and get nothing that’s when you hear excuses, This place sucks, the city sucks, the girls are bitches, drinks suck. You can hear the frustration in their voice soon move like negative energy to take over their face and how they interact. Finally they give up. The real players are the ones that have that ability to dig deep.
I knew a guy called “O.P” in high school. He was a few years older than me and was the starting point guard on the basketball team. He was 5’5 and white but don’t get it twisted the dude could fucking ball. OP was like the basketball Rudy of our county, his heart and determination were legendary. Years later the coach would tell this one story about OP. About a game he was playing that went into triple overtime. How tired and exhausted OP was and had nothing left to give. He was playing a better team and a highly recruited point guard that outmatched him in every way. During a time out OP verbalized he was done and actually wanted to sub out. But the coach wouldn’t let him, the coach said that win or lose OP had to finish the game, leave it all on the floor. That if OP survived this game there would be no doubt he would know deep down in his heart what he was really made of. They went on to lose the game. But everyone knows that after that game OP played like a monster for the rest of his career. He’d pushed himself to the limit and truly knew that nothing else in his life, no other game would ever be as challenging physically and mentally as that triple overtime game. In that one defeat outmatched and outclassed he gained a certain type of freedom because he lost all fear of defeat.
Gentlemen, there are times I’ve gone out and gotten blown out 15 times in a row. There are nights where I’ve hit 4 different venues in one night. There are nights where I’ve ran up a bar tab so fucking high I had to skip a few meals the following week till payday. I’ve felt like giving up on nights because of not having IGCs. At rock bottom I think back and I remember tougher nights, nights worse than this one when it felt like all hope was lost and remember. Maybe it will be the next approach, maybe it will be the next bar/club/lounge. Maybe it will be running street game. I think of how many women I’ve seen my friends (or myself) pull right at last call. I think of how many times we parted ways at the end of a night and I’ve sent the +1 text the next day or exchange stories about girls we met on the subway or on the street corner and striking up a conversation that led to a number close or even a bang that very night. Nights where it does happen I remember all the hard nights it didn’t happen those lessons stay with me, the taste of L stays on my tongue. So when I’m out on a night and it’s not going well I have that inner freedom OP had, mentally I’ve been through worse so on a bad night this shit is light work.
Around here we always talk about paying your dues and putting in that work. Think about that when you’re out gaming and you don’t have IGCs. Are you the type that gives up early or do you dig deeper and push yourself beyond your limit.