There’s a guy that got away. The alpha bad boy you dated and had to let go. There was passion there and he just wasn’t ready for some weird reason to fully commit and settle down with you. He still had a little bit of growing up to do. Maybe find a steady job, stop drinking so much with his boys, move out of bachelor pad that he shared with roommates just as crazy as he is. You weren’t getting any younger so you left him. Sure he chased you for a few months, drunk calls, telling you he wanted you back, saying things would be different even though you knew he was still the same. It felt great when he chased you for that little while. You settled for someone who was dependable, heading in the right direction in life, could give you everything you wanted. Even though the wild passion wasn’t there and you knew something was missing you traded that away for the feeling of security. This new man who was willing to give you the world at any cost and wasn’t going anywhere. It was ok to gain a little weight with him because your love was real, you never had to fear of him looking elsewhere, unlike your ex you knew that you were the best this new beta guy could get.
Then one day you get off a metro stop on a nice sunny day and bump into a guy that looks just like your alpha ex boyfriend. Upon further examination it actually IS your alpha ex boyfriend. But there are different things about him now. He cut his hair to fit his face, maybe dressed a little better. He’s walking with a certain increased swagger. He notices you and says hello. You two quickly start talking and you come to find out that he’s done a lot of self improvement over the past months/ year. He’s learned a new language or musical instrument. Maybe he volunteers now at a food bank or a mentoring program. He went ahead and applied for that promotion at work and now has to wear suits and ties or got a different better job with more responsibilities. He moved into his own place that he enjoys decorating. You realize that he’s basically become the guy you wanted him to be all along. Of course you’re happy for him and still attracted to him. Something is different though. During the whole conversation you’ve noticed that the sparkle in his eyes he used to get while talking to you isn’t there. He hasn’t reached out to touch you physically in any way (as apposed to when he used to put his shoulder on your arm or lower back during conversations).
You can tell that he sees you differently, he’s tolerating the conversation and being polite genuinely caring about how your life is going and your new relationship. You still have the same set of friends, the same job, maybe a new guy but that’s it. Deep down in that part of your brain you try to ignore the only thing about you that’s changed is that you’ve gained weight. It’s in your face no matter how much make up you use. It’s in your body language. It’s what happens in to most women who think they’re happy and land the guy that’s not going anywhere anytime soon. What’s the point of working our and staying in shape he’ll love you anyways. Who else do you have to impress. Could he have seen this coming? Could he have sense this about you? That in the end you peaked long ago and he had you at your best. You’ll hug him good bye and hold him tight feeling he’s in shape and still enjoys going to the gym. He’ll pat you on the back like a relative his parents are forcing him to see over the holidays. He’ll pull away first give you a pitiful look as if he dodged a bullet and say tell you it was great seeing you. You’ll go home to your beta boyfriend to find comfort in the fact he’s not going anywhere.
Even at 35 the man who better’s himself, continues to push himself physically and mentally to the edge of his genetic make up will own the world. He will always have options he will never have to settle for a girl that wasn’t good enough for another man. He can hold out to find the girl that meets all of his requirements that he knows will make him happy. Look at your girl right now if you two broke up would men be lining up around the block to get with her? If you two broke up could you do better?