I’ve written about this before (and done it many times myself). Guys who overkill with showing off how alpha or how much of an obvious player they are too early in their interactions with women they meet. It usually happens like this; you strut into a bar suited up and get a drink at the bar. You’re the best dressed guy there. You see a cute girl smile at you and decide to chat her up, you spit your best lines at her letting her know how awesome you are, pass all her shit tests, answer all the right questions and at the end of the encounter she doesn’t give you her number to hangout but instead gives you a cheesy excuse as to why she must go and says nice to meet you and walks away. This girl was cute but not smoking hot, mentally you know the number close should have been a given a layup even. You’re left there scratching your head asking yourself what just happened. If it’s not obvious by now your game was too good, you did too well. You let her know that you were used to bedding women and she wasn’t in the mood to be another notch.
Just like you can tell if a girl is a slut within a few minutes of talking to her and decide you wouldn’t want to date her just sleep with her. A girl can tell that you’re a player who sleeps with multiple women and decide not to invest any of her time into you out of fear or common sense that you’ll just sleep with her and move on. The key to hiding your player power level is the ability to appear vulnerable at certain times. To be good but not too good is a delicate tight rope that becomes an essential skill to learn the further and better you become at game. If you feel you’re over gaming and losing too many layups here are some things you can do and keep in mind.
- Tone down the suit – Yes, sometimes it’s possible to be too overdressed for a venue in the wrong way. It’s not really being overdressed it’s the mix of your suited up outfit and your alpha/ player vibe that makes it obvious you are on the hunt. Still suit up but make it more playful. Lose the tie, wear a colorful pocket square, and if you can pull it off wear stylish sneakers that go with your suit.
- Purposefully fail a shit test – passing all of her shit test is the equivalent of a student getting a 100% on a final exam, it draws up a flag and makes the teacher reexamine the students test to see if there was any cheating. If you have the right answer for all of her shit tests then she may sniff you’re too good. So on a minor shit test give the wrong answer. If she’s obviously fishing for a compliment throw her one. If she is waiting to see if you’ll buy her a drink buy her one. If she makes an obvious dumb joke chuckle, if your vibe is powerful in other areas you’ll be fine.
- Pretend to be nervous, unsure or even shy at times – Seduction is a funny thing even though with game a man is trying to seduce a woman you have to remember to let the woman feel as if she was complicit in the seduction. If you’re making all the right moves at the right time she may think that you already assume sex with her is going to happen. Her anti slut brain will kick and she may not go home or sleep with you because she doesn’t want you to think she’s a layup. This is a very nuance shadow move though. Spot the difference below
“You seem really cool, give me your number and let’s hangout again”
“You seem really cool, um… maybe I should get your number and we can hang out again”
It’s that slight hesitation that allows her to see that you don’t think you have her in the bag. Let’s say you’re going in for that first kiss. You can be in a groove during the conversation have that smirk on your face like you’re all that and then go in for that first kiss while she’s talking. Another way is to be interested in the conversation and let a good awkward moment come up and have a look on your face that telegraphs you mentally debating or considering kissing her. Maybe you let that first kissable moment pass but the next one you’ll actually go in. The main point is giving off that vibe that this is not a sure thing.
- Show weakness / vulnerability – this might be one of the biggest chinks in any man’s game. In the attempt to prove he is super Alpha a guy can come off as some bro robot. A woman is less likely to hook up with you if she’s doesn’t think she will ever be able to emotionally connect with you. If you’re the type of guy who never gets hurt, never is bothered by any type of loss, has nothing he really cares emotionally about then you might as well announce that you’re a psychopath. Often bonding over something that might make you emotional increases a woman’s attraction to you. It lets her know that even though it may not happen often there may come a time in the future where you’ll need her to be there for you. Secretly this is a fantasy all women have, to take care of an alpha male in his moment of weakness. But if you come off as the type of guy who doesn’t have any weaknesses then why is she going to stick around for, you’re taking that fantasy right off the table. In my online profile I admitted to crying in the movie theater to only three movies ever. Then I name the movies and the scenes that really got me.
- Show some jealousy in the right way or fake it – Being overly jealous all the time can be a huge turnoff to girls and an obvious sign of insecurity. But at the same time it can be a sign that you’re into the girl, willing to compete/ fight for her and would rather have her with you than another guy. The trick is knowing when to pull this jealousy card and in the right way. If you’re talking to a girl for a while and you’re approached by another alpha on your level or even higher DO NOT become jealous or show any signs of jealousy under any circumstance. Play it cool and indifferent because being jealous during this scenario is the fastest way to lose ground to the other guy. Now let’s flip the script and a girl you’ve just met is into you and some drunk douche bag who’s not on your level in anyway just starts talking to her and she’s nice to him and answers his questions. I’ve seen this happens plenty of times and guys who play it too cool or too indifferent and fall back end up letting the girl slip into a conversation with a lessor male and losing the girl for the night. Again you just met this girl and you’d like to sleep with her that night. But you play it too cool, leave them to talk, or go start a conversation with another girl as a move she may think you’re not interested and just settle for the guy who is.
- If it’s a lessor male let him speak his weak game for a few minutes and then tell him to beat it. Do it in a way that lets him and her know you’re basically with her tonight. Even though you two aren’t dating just met. Something like, “thanks buddy but me and my girl where talking here”. You have no clue how many times I’ve used that line and the girl turns around and has become even more into me than she was before because I verbally claimed her. Now I understand that a move like this may easily escalate to violence and for those of you who are opposed to that another way to pull this move is a soft playful neg. You know this guy isn’t on your level and she’s probably more into you than him so with a grin on your face you tell her, “Maybe I should let you and your dream guy get to know each other” or “Hey, I know when I’ve met my match” You pretend to do the slow turn walk away and watch as she grabs your arm and sequels, “What, noooo don’t go, that guy is so random/weird/ cheesy”. The point is playing it too cool can backfire and lose you the girl.
I’ve said before that game is like a samurai sword and one of the signs of a great samurai is to die with a rusty sword. Meaning instead of using his power and knowledge to kill he used his brain and other aspects to avoid violence. The time to tone down your game and hide your skill should be practiced and used with girls whose attraction level is below yours; girls who you could probably easily pull just by being nice to them and not really having to put a lot of effort in. I know what you’re thinking, I spent all this time buying books and years cold approaching and practicing my game and now you’re telling me not to use it! No, I’m not saying that, it’s just that I’m telling you to consider the target you use it on. If you walk into a night club filled with 9’s and 10’s if you’re at a fashion show after party filled with models, If you find yourself at a fancy dinner filled with high powered socialites used to being surrounded by tons of alpha men then by all means unleash that game samurai sword and cut them all down. But that cute chick in the dive bar with nerd glasses, how about you just say hello and see where it goes from there?