GLDG: The Intimidation Factor

I’ve received a bunch of requests to restart the Good Looking Dude Game series, which is awesome. Had I known how valuable it was to you guys, I would have never stopped! Seeing as the FFY archives are all gone, this is an opportunity to put GLDG stuff up that’s fresh and up to date. A lot has changed in the game in 3 years.

To kick off the new GLDG, we’re reaching into the mailbag-

Hey man,

Just a couple more questions (I am revisiting your email from last year because I’m coming up against some resistance from women):
1. As you wrote, women who are below an 8 are generally quite shy around me; how should I get around this and allow them to open up to me?
2. Should I focus on chatting to 8s and above, as they may be more receptive to my approaching them as a Good-Looking Dude?
3. What was the one thing that helped you progress from beginner level to getting laid regularly?

After a follow up email-

I’m a 23-year-old australian dude living in Sydney who is a 9 in looks and height (6’5″+ so sometimes girls even approach me to ask about my height, etc.) I am smart and bilingual. I get checked out by almost every girl I encounter – in fact it’s fun to catch them doing it. I think I intimidate some girls so I just want to fly under the radar sometimes. I hope this doesn’t sound immodest and arrogant, I just think it might help your blog post. And for the record I’m with you on discarding most game tenets as a good-looking dude, because they just cloud my focus. But yes, a blog post would be much, much appreciated.

These are great questions to cover for GLDG. Today, we’ll just stick to #1 because it deserves a post of its own. So much “failure” good looking dudes face is actually self-doubt or preemptive rejection by girls who think you are out of their league. It takes time and often a light bulb moment to finally understand that it’s not really you that’s the problem, especially for late bloomers, former fatties, and those that grew up shy.

1. As you wrote, women who are below an 8 are generally quite shy around me; how should I get around this and allow them to open up to me

It’s practically unanimous that this is the biggest hurdle faced by good looking dudes. After all, the world isn’t crawling with 8s and 9s. It’s usually girls within the 7 range that cause this problem. Most girls in the 6 range, the “cute” girls, have armies of pansy orbiters and rarely get hit on by top dudes. They love getting hit on by a good looking dude who is a total dick to them. They eat that shit up. However, the rare ones that have self respect will, 99.9% of the time, preemptively reject you by bowing out because they know you probably aren’t going to date them.

The 7s on the other hand are usually more cautious because they aren’t desperate like 6s and they understand that they probably won’t be able to lock you down. The hot chicks, the 8s and 9s, relish a challenge because they so rarely lose, but 7s are wary of false hope. Typically, they found that out the hard way getting seriously played by one or more dudes out of their league before, but even those that haven’t had that happen can feel the possibility in their bones. It doesn’t even matter if she has an over-inflated self evaluation or if she is the biggest slut on the planet, they’ll eye fuck you all night and then throw up that anti-player shield the moment you approach. You can see it in the eyes and body language- that certain skeptical look that is expecting you to be a player but hoping you’re not, and a half-open stance ready to leave but wanting to give you a shot.

To lessen the intimidation factor and get a connection going, you’ve got to really tone down the cockiness and smart ass banter. It’s overgaming. You have to go real easy on the teasing in the beginning and sometimes even that can be too much. Hard negs are out unless she starts in with hard banter first. A simple hey for the opener and light conversation to start with. Let your smile, laugh, and eye contact do most of the work. Be charming, cool, laid back angle and gradually escalate. Think Clooney style. Better to let her secretly wonder if you are out of her league or not than come out guns blazing and remove all doubt.

For those of us with quick tongues and high self-regard it really takes some getting used to. Lord knows I’ve blown out with a number of girls before I realized that I needed to control my asshole side.

A good heuristic to keep in mind is that most early stage “Game” advice is for dudes who attractive women perceive as below them. They often need to nuke a shit test or come in with a strong asshole vibe to get a girl to re-evaluate them and flip the script. As a good looking dude, you come into the interaction with attraction as a given. You don’t need to blast her with teasing and negs and cockiness. Your job more often than not is to demonstrate some attainability instead. Being cool, not supplicating, and having a backbone will go a long way.

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About The Author

They call me Fly, Fresh, and Young. Gym rat by day, lecherous drunkass by night. Follow me on Twitter @nate_moneyh.


  1. Rob July 25, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    I’m 5’9 , 155 lbs 9% body fat. Just came in 2nd place in a USBF mens physique contest. I consider myself to be a good looking guy, and I get compliments on my body pretty often. I can talk to girls without a problem (get numbers easily, they don’t even matter) but moving on to the next stage of the game is difficult for me. Girls flake out or just disappear. I guess it’d be easy for me to blame their actions on the fact that I’m “too good looking” when in reality it’s probably my over-confident/arrogant attitude that scares/intimidates girls away. It’s something I’ve been trying to get rid of (smile more, boss people around at work in a slightly more diplomatic way, talk to girls longer before completely dismissing them as being too much work) I like when girls chase me and throw themselves at me. However, from my experience with girls who have chased me it takes a pretty confident girl to do so. I’m usually unwilling to chase a girl unless I’m super attracted to her (I.e. I have to resist the urge to stare at her and unthink all the sex I’ve had with her) and the more boldly and confidently I pursue the girl, the more demonstrative she is with me…hmm,guess I solved my own problem right? Just boldly and shamelessly pursue any girl that crosses my path? But who’s got time for that ?

  2. Chef in Jeans August 9, 2014 at 9:16 am

    I’m goofy by nature, and after the first year of getting in Game and learning about negs and mastering that fake it till you make it confidence game, I started to turn my goofiness into a tool. Its a played out concept but girls really do like a guy that can make them laugh, but only a guy that already find good looking. There’s plenty of ugly goo body guys out there that are funny as hell, but still perpetually alone. I think humor and make a girl laugh helps build comfort. Monkey’s dont laugh when a jaguar is around becuase they have to stay on guard. If you can make a girl laugh she’ll take her guard down, even if you are that jaguar waiting to go for the throat.

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