Be A Chooser, Not A Beggar

On a site such as this talking about relationships might be a bit taboo, but for a fair many guys out there (myself included) I actually like having a girlfriend, and not just a few months fling, but an honest to goodness Long Term Relationship (LTR).  Now to me an LTR is a relationship that hits at least the 3 month mark (before that you’re still ” just dating”, and I dont care what either of you think) but more importantly its a relationship who’s end goal isn’t to be cut off at any given point.  Basically a relationship that you dont consciously plan on stopping.

Now I’m not here to tell you how to “manage” or “game” your girlfriend, that’s actually my main point today, that you shouldn’t have too.  If you’ve got to consciously enlist core Game techniques to keep a girl inline and yourself happy why are you wasting your time.  Yes the harsh truth is that relationships are getting a bad wrap because so many dudes jump into an LTR with silly unworthy hos.  I’d say most, if not all, girls are not worth the time.  As a man the single most important thing you can do to have a good healthy LTR that pays back at least as much as you put in (preferably more then you put in) you need to be a chooser, not a beggar.

In fairness to today’s crop of girls (shun the white knight! Shun! Shun! Shun!) its not entirely their fault.  They’re being brainwashed raised to see relationships as unnecessary and even detrimental.  VK wrote about this in More Thoughts On Marriage, on how the modern careerist woman isn’t really worth her salt in a relationship because she’s been bred to be a time bomb sleeper cell who will consume from a man until such a time when detonation occurs, wreaking havoc on his life.  These are the girls you need to avoid, and interestingly enough (by my experiences) they’re the girls that most players end up banging regularly and easily.  Modern hook up culture at it’s finest, please make sure to thank your local feminist for all the easy pussy you’ve gotten in the past few years.

So how do you sift the mire of hos to find the one potential housewife?  You gotta look for the signs and red flags.  Some of these are actually counter-intuitive to what you might have formerly thought as a dude looking to just get laid.  Like point number one:

-If she bangs on the first two dates, hit it and quit it-

This one is pretty simple, but classic Game would see this as a good thing, but if you’re looking for a good quality girl, you want her dick count to be as low as possible.  Now its fanciful to say “find a virgin” because that’s the needle of today’s proverbial haystack, but if a few drinks and choice words get her to jump into bed with you, you are most definitely not the first dude to do so.

-Act broke (or just admit to being broke)-

Now dont do this right away, any girl regardless of how sweet and caring will be put off by a dude who comes out of the gate as a bum, but after a few weeks or a month let her know (or lead her on) about some money troubles, how your paycheck wasn’t all the great and some bills might not get paid.  See how she reacts.  Is she sympathetic?  Does she genuinely seem to care about that hardship?  Is she willing to help?  Basically is she in this for the cash and comfort.  A woman who’s willing to stick by a man through financial hardships get’s many points in my book.  This eliminates your golddiggers and your easy riders, the girls who just want a relationship because it means free food and free stuff.  When a girl is willing to pay for something (and not in a “I’m an independent Womyn! kind of way) I feel it says a lot about how she views the relationship.

-Does she please you-

Now once you’ve broken that ground and tapped that ass after a few dates, evaluate how she handles sex.  Does she want to learn what makes you happy?  If not then why bother?  Sex is a very instinctual act in a relationship.  If she doesn’t want to work to please you as her man in an act that simultaneously pleases her, then why would she try to make you happy when there’s little or no immediate benefit to her?  Also evaluate whether or not she wants you to learn what pleases her.  If she’s not interested in making the sex better for her, I’d bet money she’s getting the D somewhere else.

-Check out her mother-

Now this is an old concept, though I’m finding more and more that whether her mother is still attractive at an older age and how that will effect your girl has a lot less to do with genes, and a lot more to do with how she was raised.  If her mother got married and threw in the towel and let herself go she will do the same, because she was taught to basically capture a man, not find a man.  If her mother is still fit and attractive for her age, chances are its because she feels a need to do so.  She respects her husband.   I’ve found that women who remain in good shape and still look good after years of marriage are also often women with the traditional values that men need to look for in an LTR

-Does she like to look pretty-

Now this need clarification right out of the gate.  Liking to look pretty does not meaning dolling up once or twice a month to go out and get her ego swole off compliments.  It means wanting to put on a little make-up and some nice jeans to go to Chipotle.  I usually tested these waters as early as the first date, making flippant but probing comments like “I don’t date girls who own sweatpants”  or general displaying my abhorrence to Uggs.  There’s a huge difference between a girl looking good because its beneficial to her, and a girl who wants to look good because she likes to look good.

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About The Author

Ripping the frills and flowers out of learning to cook and putting it into terms that men understand.


  1. iDestroy January 16, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    I have to say…. this is one of the most noteworthy articles that I have read in the manosphere. This is reality. We need more of this.

  2. T January 19, 2014 at 3:05 am

    Yeah i agree with iDestroy. This is realistic because not all of us are trying to be banging our whole life. Thanks chef

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