I am 28, have a wife who is 24, and a 9-month-old daughter. If things go according to plan, we will have at least four more children before my wife turns 30.
I am writing this in 2013, not 1953.
Why in the world would I follow this life path? I’ve obviously taken the red pill – otherwise I wouldn’t be writing for this site. My knowledge of Game, my natural charisma from before learning Game, my better-than-average looks, my interesting job, and the fact that I dress impeccably well all could contribute to some serious clean up if I were still single and pursuing multiple women.
I’ve been married and divorced already. So I know what an emotional, social, and financial toll the current legal system can take on a man. I didn’t even have any children with my first wife and got put through the ringer.
I’m aware of how messed up the world is. It’s hard not to wax nostalgic for my own childhood, let alone the stories I hear from my parents and their parents about how safe and peaceful life used to be. How school’s weren’t indoctrination camps, how TV didn’t magnify all the bad and minimize all the good of childhood, how boys were boys and girls were girls.
But I still chose to remarry and go the traditional, Western, Christian route.
Here in our corner of the Internet it’s easy for us to see and acknowledge that a traditional, two-parent family is what creates civilization. Having a father and a mother is the best thing for individual children, small communities, and an entire culture in general. We even recognize and preach that women are happier when they are dedicated to their husbands and children instead of a soul-sucking career.
But that’s not where the benefit ends. We get caught in this binary of what’s good for an individual man is not good for society and vice versa. We’re told to sit poolside and pursue as many notches as possible because that’s what ultimately will make us happy.
I won’t argue against the appeal of sexual variety. Even as a man who is happily married, it’s a siren that beckons to me. But it pales in comparison to the happiness I get as a traditional husband and father.
The two-parent structure of the nuclear family is not something that is in everyone’s best interest at the expense of the father. It is in the man’s best interest as well. In fact, it is the culmination of every biological urge you feel to bang a woman – be it some stranger or your devoted wife of years and years.
Fatherhood has taught me that life is not all about me. And that selflessness is not the same as the “selflessness” of the blue pill. Being a dad means I sacrifice for this little girl out of a pure motivation to see her happy. It’s not social or moral posturing. It’s not altruism in that I don’t derive any benefit from it. In fact, it’s a purely selfish selflessness – it makes me happy to sacrifice for my little girl.
When selflessness is something we develop out of love, not out of duty, it becomes a real virtue. And once it’s a real virtue, the man who gives selflessly benefits from his giving just as much as the person who receives from him.
Abundance Mentality is a red-pill principle that has existed since our generation of men started philosophizing. It applies to fatherhood as much as it does to any other aspect of masculinity. When I give to my daughter – whether it’s my time, my attention, my affection, my praise, or anything else I can give – I do so because I have an abundance of positivity in my life that I want to share with her. Same goes with my wife.
When we first start to take the red pill we focus on ourselves. This makes sense because the world has it backwards. They demand and demand and demand from men without ever allowing us to establish ourselves first. When we give out of obligation it’s like paying taxes. When we give before we even have something it’s like going into debt. Our current society is demanding a debt-fueled tax system on its men and it’s no surprise more and more of us are eschewing those traditional roles to focus on ourselves – be it PUA’s or the neckbeard who plays video games in his basement.
But, once a man has started to really develop himself and is experiencing an abundance of the good life can offer, the next step is to have other people with whom to share that abundance. If there’s too much good in my life for me to be able to experience it all myself, I’d rather have a family with whom I can share that abundance than see it go to waste.