With this year’s Winter Bulk Up in full effect, it’s time to bust out my rather thin cook book with some recipes bursting with protein that are so basic Chef in Jeans might be forced to disown this publication. His style and flare, I do not possess. But I promise they are tasty nonetheless.
You see, as far as cooking goes I am a big believer that food is first and foremost fuel and that all meat tastes good no matter how cheap. What can I say, I’m a simple guy. Furthermore, as opposed to last year’s edition of cheap bulking meals which reflected my desire to carb up, for the past 6-7 months I’ve been using Chaos and Pain’s Apex Predator Diet and therefore all I care about is fat and protein. Getting massive amounts of meat down my gullet is my number one priority, so fancy cuts and nifty preparation take a big backseat. This has led me to further develop a rather workmanlike palate (it was mostly there already) and an aversion to spending longer than fifteen minutes preparing my meals (crock pot not withstanding). If I can take the laziest route towards making a dish that I find tasty, which is isn’t that hard in my mind, I do, and thus I have become the master of cheap, easy, and quick meals.
If your goal is 150+ grams of protein a day from food and you hate prep time and spending excess money as much as you love meat, these two recipes are for you. If I were to hazard a guess, the two combined are 60% of my weekly food intake.
Ground Beef a la Cheese and Exotic Spices
- Desired amount of ground beef. I like to use the 3 pound tubes of 80/20 from the store.
- Shredded cheese. Pepper Jack is a no brainer, Colby-Jack a close second.
- World Class Spices that Columbus would shit himself over. Pepper works well, though Weber Gourmet Burger is outstanding.
Step 1- Brown the beef.
Step 2- Mix in spices.
Step 3- Scoop into big bowl, add cheese.
Step 4- Consume until sides hurt, save leftovers for later.
3 pounds is roughly 360 grams of protein, enough for 2-4 meals depending on hunger levels and desired protein intake. Cost: 10-12 bucks. Protein powder averages about $1 per 25g protein (60 scoop tub for $60 for simplicity’s sake) so it’s actually cheaper. Plus, you’re getting all that amazing fat that, contrary to popular belief, is not only great for you but required for the most basic and necessary bodily functions, such as living.
Beef Roast a la Oven
Although I mentioned crock pots earlier and both asked for and received one for Christmas, I’m terrible at using them. I’d rather have it done now. I go to the store, get the cheapest 4 pound block of whatever roast, usually rump, and prance on home laughing inside because I know everyone was staring at me wondering what kind of crock pot I use for this monstrosity. Suckers!
Step 1: Preheat oven to 450.
Step 2: Cut roast into inch-thick strips while discarding all that shit that comes with a cheap roast.
Step 3: Put strips on baking sheet. Douse in Weber’s Gourmet Burger (not a typo).
Step 4: Put sheet in oven, wait fifteen minutes.
Step 5: Pull out strips. If you like them more done, stick them back in for a few more minutes because they just got done mooing.
Step 6: Jam delicious handfuls of seemingly New York Strip-like beef down your throat. Steak sauce is optional but frowned upon, and if I find out you used ketchup I will track you down and jam the bottle…
Moving forward, a simple recipe like this is not only mind boggling delicious for how pedestrian it appears, it’s also a shit load of meat.Cost: 10-12 bucks. A four pound roast is roughly 480 grams of protein, so you are set for the next couple days.
Try and tell me that’s not drool all over your clothing. Or was that ketchup comment too much?
In all seriousness, these are legit simple and cheap recipes I use on a near daily basis. I find them incredibly delicious and I save a bundle on my high protein demands. Additionally, my side-motivation with this post was to show how easy it can be to make food that is good and good for you. I know too many people who want to get away from tasty, easily made, yet shitty food, but can’t conceive of other options that don’t take more time or money than they’d like to spend. Here are 2. Throw bone-in pork chops baked like the roast and call it 3. Simple, cheap, and loaded with protein.
Chef, you can open your eyes now.